Love is Evil

Take a few more pills ‘cause I’m not numb enough yet.

You’ve used me long enough — now your heart’s in debt.

Is your mouth incapable of uttering a kind word to me?

Have you just became so cold that this is the way it must be?

 

 Though we share a bed, I know I don’t have your heart.

I’m stuck in a tragic play; my own fault to play this part.

So, let me get medicated enough to forget your little lies —

I need to temporarily fill all these deep voids that I carry inside.

 

I grow so tired of listening to the whirring in my head.

Guess I’d rather be comatose than realize my love is dead.

My tortured little heart still beats and begs for you.

It will somehow continue to love, no matter what you do.

 

Though mankind may sin in so many ways,

It’s amazing how our mindless hearts make us stay.

And it is the tragedy of life to love — win or lose.

Even in the depths of hell, we all need our muse.

Numb

I have felt so much that I am numb.

It’s only momentary, long enough to breathe -

then sigh.

The emotion comes rushing back all too soon.

Romance is what every heart secretly hopes for;

In the light of the moon, a lover’s wish.

And my romantic heart with all it’s pangs & bruises

Is left empty again . . . wondering.

I feel the pain creep back in,

Icicles form on my insides -

with dread and doubt -

But nevertheless, inevitably, always comes the pain.

So, in these moments where my soul feels nothing -

I cherish everything.

My heart may be destined to woe and cry -

But that’s the price I pay for romance.

Look to Me

When you feel alone, always remember that you have me.  My arms are forever open to you – where you need to be.  Don’t feel lost, for I am home.  And with me is where you belong.  I won’t hurt you or bring you down.  I’ll put a happy face in place of your frown.  Look to me for what you need.  I love you so – please come to me.

Me

I WONDER:

What is wrong with me?

Everything I touch or see carries an emotion.

My hands lay idle as my mind seeks disappointment for its own sake.

Breathing has become mundane – simply a taught thing that I must surrender to.

Looking from the world’s eye – here is me – sad and torn.  Some withered ball of emotion.

In all my woes, looking for something bigger – bigger than myself and this ridiculous world.

My eyes see everything – and each piece is a memory, some small speckle in time.

I want and I need and I dream.

A sad girl with her pursed lips and cigarettes; wound into herself.  This is me.

Emily Dickinson

I am very passionate about poetry, both writing and reading.  Eighteenth Century poetry is one of my favorites.  I love the lyrical rhythm of the words – the depth that seems to lack in modern poetry.  I wanted to give my opinion and analysis of one of my favorite poems.

PROUD of my broken heart since thou didst break it,
Proud of the pain I did not feel till thee,
Proud of my night since thou with moons dost slake it,
Not to partake thy passion, my humility.

This is a beautiful poem by Emily Dickinson.  I think that very few poems even touch the innocence in nature of her words here.  It is sad, deep, heartbreaking.  The poet is heartbroken, she has lost her lover – and yet, she is proud of the pain, because he has given it to her.  Though the poem is simple, sweet, and heartfelt there are darker underlying emotions.  Unrequited love, obsession, insecurity.  In this poem, Emily Dickinson offers her answer to the age old question of rather it is better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all.  Though there are dark tones beneath the innocence and vulnerability she has shown, many of us can relate.  Pain is a part of love, and Emily is not afraid to acknowledge it.  In her poetry, beside from this poem, she offers real-life views on heartbreak, death, etc.  Her words from years and years past, still ring true today.  That is what art and literature are all about – painting an eternal scene.